On connecting with my 15 year old

Chickie had a bit of a melt down on Wednesday night. She had failed some tests, messed up at rehearsal and to top it off, none of her friends could come to her birthday party this weekend forcing her to postpone it for a week. It broke my heart to see her sobbing like she was. I ended up spending the night in her room with her. I am thrilled to realize that she finds it comforting, not confining to have me around at this age. I did not have that kind of relationship with my mom. I have worked hard to make it different with her and really did not think I was succeeding. Obviously, I was wrong. Sometimes I feel like I am nothing more to her than a ride and a source of cash. I realize now the reason she gets nasty with me is that I am safe. She knows she can say or do anything and I will still love her. It is easier to take her frustrations out on me, someone who will not condemn her no matter what, than to confront the source of whatever hurt she is feeling, who could possibly reject her. I just hope I can remember this revelation the next time she goes off on me about something I did not do. After all, I, too, am human and even though I know the arrows are not directed at me, they still hurt when they hit.