On learning how to do nothing

Doing absolutely nothing. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Well I am one person who has never been able to do nothing. I always have to have several things going on at once. To me, to stop meant to die and that is something that scares the crap out of me. With lots of help from Lucy, I have FINALLY mastered the art of doing nothing and enjoying the quiet. I no longer have to have the television on at all times. As a matter of fact, as I type this, the only noise I hear is the construction outside and the gentle hum of the air conditioner. I am not anxious, but at peace. We just came in from a quick swim (there is a typical afternoon thunderstorm getting ready to roll in). It is not quite time for me to fix dinner and I just WANT (yes, I said want) to sit in a quiet room.

It feels so good not to be getting ready for the next 5 things on my schedule. I am pretty much packed for vacation and I am not taking a class, either in the classroom or online right now, so there is no pressure there. I cannot believe it took until the week before my 40th birthday to finally get it!!

On Bringing Up a Teenager

There are days when I feel that as a parent I am failing miserably. Today is one of those days. Chickie wanted to go home with a friend. I said no and all hell broke loose. She threw at fit in front of this friend. Said some pretty nasty things. Even posted something about me on her facebook which set me off.

I layed the law with her. She WILL respect me whether she likes it or not. I realize she was mad but that is no excuse to say and do the things she was doing. I have had it and will not live like this with her anymore. She is a perfect angel until she is told no. I have heard that Tim Russert told his son that he will always be loved but never entitled. I want to adopt this policy. I want her to see that she can disagree with, even not like what she is told but it ends there. She is not entitled to get in my face or question my decisions.

I was thrilled that Jeff backed me up. HE, not me, told her that marching band would be no more if she didnt change her attitude. Right now, she has lost her phone but has been warned that other things will go if there are not permanent changes.

On Little Dude's 5th Grade Graduation

Wow! Where has the time gone? Little Dude's graduation was very emotional today. I am SO SO proud of him. He won a President's Gold Academic Award among many others. I held it together really well. As a matter of fact, half way through the ceremony, I wondered what was wrong with me because I WASN'T even feeling like crying. It all changed when they did the photo montage. They played Trace Atkins' "Your Gonna Miss This." Tried so hard to hold back the tears but finally just let them go unchecked. Got myself under control then it ended and I saw Georgene. Jeff asked her if she was okay, she said no, then BOTH of us lost it while hugging. I cannot believe they are moving. We've been through so much together as moms. I saw her again as we were leaving and both of us were like, no not again, just go! The good thing is that with email, we won't lose touch. I am just really ashamed that I have not been a better friend this year. I guess I just assumed that everyone would always be there. Lesson learned--do not neglect your friends cause you never know.

Anyway, back to Little Dude. I cannot believe that my baby is entering middle school. I know that the time of him being my little boy is coming to an end. I am both happy and sad.

On Feeling Overwhelmed

I have 15 minutes before I have to leave for school. Both dogs are asleep (big surprise there!) and I have decided NOT to turn the television on. I am doing this more and more. I find that I no longer need or want the noise when I am home alone. I am finally beginning to enjoy the silence instead of fearing it.

This morning, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. We found out last night that a favorite cousin has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Her daughter was born about six hours before chickie. We have become extremely close over the past few years. We spent Thanksgiving with them last year and it was, by far, the best we have ever had. The night at the beach with her and the girls was fabulous. Just what I needed with the semester coming to an end. It gave me what I needed to get through finals. I really want to reach out to her but I have no idea how. It hit me last night that I should speak to Dr. K. She is now back from her treatment after being diagnosed last September. It amazes me, though it shouldn't, how God puts the exact people that we need in our lives at the exact time.

Adding to this, chickie comes home yesterday and tells us that she fell on a hike for science. Her back, ankle and bad arm are hurting. Old dude is taking her to the docs for me this morning so I can go to class. Needless to say, my mind won't be there fully, but at least I can get the notes and turn in my journal. It kills me inside as a mother that I cannot do anything for her. She is in constant pain. I am trying to be patient and understanding because it affects her moods in a horrible way.