On Leaving Lucy

Saw Lucy this week. She thinks I may be ready to cut back on the PTSD meds. I am all for this and was actually thinking about it too. I am tired of not being able to get this weight off. I had just lost it prior to starting the meds. I am happy that the meds worked but my time with Lucy has given me SO many new coping skills. I am not the same person I was two and a half years ago.
It kinda made me sad when she said she thought it was getting close to the time when I would no longer see her at all. I have only been seeing her once a month for a while now and really those times are just catching up on my busy life. I am happy, truly happy, for the first time in a very long time. I am at peace with my life. I have the skills I need to get through the rough spots that I wish I would have had prior to chickies accident. I am content even though life is not perfect. I have finally gotten to the point where I can accept the imperfection. Not only do I accept it, I am embracing it.
So, I have cut my already low dose in half. It will take about two weeks for it to register in my body. We will see what happens. I really want to be off the stuff. The side effects are getting worse the longer I am on it and I really feel that I do not need it any more.

On Surviving the storms and On Chickie's Arm

Okay, so I am combing two blog posts. The storms the other night were horrible. Add to it that I was home alone with the kids (old dude had to work yet another overnight) and well, lets just say my anxiety level was at an all time high. I did a VERY good job of hiding it from little dude who was really freaking out. I was so proud of my parenting at that moment. I had him put his headphones on and watch something funny on his laptop. We all ended up sleeping in Chickie's room. The rain got really loud around 3am waking us all up. Everyone stayed calm. It is amazing the damage that occurred just 5 miles from here. It could have easily been us. We dodged a serious bullet and I am thanking God for sparing us yet again. These major storms always seem to hit very close to us but never get us.

On to Chickie. She is now in a dark purple cast. I was NOT prepared for this when I took her to the doctors last week. I really thought they would just give her a cortisone shot. It brought back some bad memories for me but I have been able to deal with it. For that, I have Lucy to thank. Chickie's attitude has been amazing. I thought she would be freaking but her response was "I like to be the center of attention!" I am sure on some level it bothers her that this never seems to end, but I think she is mature enough (maybe even more so than me) to handle it and keep a good attitude. I also thinks she is acutely aware of how close she came to death or losing her arm so, in the grand scheme of things, this isn't so bad.

On Little Dude Overcoming His Fears

So, we went to Busch Gardens to celebrate the end of my semester last weekend. The trip was beyond my wildest dreams. We had such a good time dispite a rocky start (Steph was in the throws of an attitude.) What made it really cool was being able to ride all the rides as a family. Tyler has FINALLY overcome his fear of rollercoasters. I was SO proud of him. He really heard what Drew said last week in church about worry and used this information to push himself. He had such a good time; loved everything that he did and can't wait to do it again.

As a mom, this means more to me than words can say. I know the feeling of having fears cripple you. I have lived with it my entire life. I also know how freeing it is to face them and overcome them. My heart knew what he was missing but I could not convince him to face it. My heart was breaking for him. Now, he is free and it EVERYONE feels good about it.